im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
