i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
