If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
