gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
