we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
