Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
