his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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