I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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