The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
