I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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