Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize