Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I love having hate sex.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
