is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So vagazzling was a success
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
