either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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