He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize