fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
