I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
