Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
