just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm like, not good at living.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
