Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
