Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
