the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Randomize
