so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
