I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
