If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
