Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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