I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
