I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
