All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
