What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
