I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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