he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
