whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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