I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
