Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i will never coherently bang her
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
