She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
