oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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