i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
