His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
