I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
