Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
