My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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