spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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