She said her name was "party"
I can text with my tongue
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize