98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
