I puked a lego.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
