maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
