Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize