did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
