do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
