we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
