WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
