Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
