Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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