WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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