I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
