Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
